"The Truth About Homosexuality" - Session 3 Recap

On Monday November 6th, 2017 we met for our third session to study "The Truth About

Homosexuality: A Compassionate Response". This meeting we looked into What Science Says About Homosexuality to specifically focus on What Are Some Causes of Same-Sex Attractions?

The meeting was recorded and the video is available here. A written recap summary of the session is provided below.

Our next (and final) meeting will be next Monday, November 13th, 2017 - 6:30 to 8pm in rooms 11-12 of the education building of Mt. Zion UMC. Next week we ask how to apply what we've learned, How to Speak the Truth with Compassion. 

As we discussed last week, same-sex attractions (SSAs) are not something you choose, nor is it something you is born with. So what's the alternative?

Homosexuality is Developmental

That is the say that SSAs develop over time as a person grows from a newborn to an adolescent and beyond. This is not new information. Psychologists and sociologists have studied and known this for well over a hundred years [see references below].

To better understand this we soon went on to describe the most common pathway for the development of SSAs in males in the U.S. But 3 quick qualifiers about the pathway to be discussed. It is...

• Not the only pathways but rather a representation for most males in the U.S
• Not meant to blame parents but is a reality of the importance of parents on a child's view of sexuality
• Not meant to diminish the impact of sin and fallenness of the world

SSAs are not about sex. It's about gender identity.

By "gender identity" we mean a sub-conscious belief about what gender you believe yourself to be. This can't be over-stressed, it is a sub-conscious belief.

Opposites attract. A person with a male gender identity will be attracted to the female body. A person with a female gender identity will be attracted to the male body. For a heterosexual, their gender identity matches their biological sex. E.g., they have a male biology and a male gender identity. For a homosexual person, their gender identity does not match their biological sex. 

Again, this is not a conscious decision, it is sub-conscious. So then the question becomes, how is a person's gender identity is formed?

Gender Identity Development

There are three general phases in gender identity development:

1. Gender identity phase (birth to about 5 years old) - when a child sub-consciously understands what "world" they belong into (male or female)
2. Nurturing phase (5 to about 12 years old) - when a child's gender identity is nurtured such that the previously understood gender qualities are practiced and become more familiar
3. Erotic phase (13 to about 15 years old) - when a child reaches puberty and the mysterious other gender become erotic

For the heterosexual male (generally, within the U.S.) this develops as follows. In the gender identity phase the boy recognizes that he is more like his father or men in general. Then, in the nurturing phase the boy receives the 3 A's from his father (attention, affirmation, and affection) to help solidify the understood male gender. The boy observes other boys and men to act more like them such that maleness becomes increasingly familiar. Girls, on the other hand, become weird and mysterious. But then, in the erotic phase, the hormones course through the boy's veins and he becomes attracted to that exotic other gender of females.

For the homosexual male (again, within the U.S.) something short circuits the transition for the boy to identify with his father as a male [see references below]. There are a number of reasons this could happen but these are the 2 most common: 

• Sexual abuse by a male early on - this creates a "defensive detachment" with the male gender
• Three-way family relationship - a passive/distant father, dominant mother, sensitive son, coupled with a poor marital relationship, guarded father-son relationship, and more special mother-son relationship

Thus the boy sub-consciously adopts a female gender identity that is nurtured. Female qualities are observed and practiced such that femaleness becomes familiar. As puberty hits the body of those opposite his gender identity become attractive. For the boy with the female gender identity (or deficient male gender identity), this is the mysterious other male gender.

Two quick notes about this pathway. One concerns single moms where there is no father figure. This situation does not necessarily entail that a child will develop a defensive detachment to the male gender. There may be other positive male figures in the boy's life that the boy will identify with. Second, any trauma that may short circuit the gender identity transition needs to only be perceived not actual. A more sensitive boy who internalizes things may perceive greater trauma than actually occurred.
 

This pathway to SSA makes sense of the phenomena and experience of homosexuals

For brevity I will simply listed the observations that we discussed that make sense in light of the SSA developmental pathway we described.

• They claim they’ve “always been this way” since they can remember.
• Many homosexual men report sexual abuse or have a distant father.
• Many homosexual men exhibit effeminate behavior.
• Many homosexual men tend to be sensitive.
• Homosexual men tend to relate to women very well.
• Homosexual men are often attracted to very masculine men.
• Promiscuity among homosexual men is high.
• Homosexual monogamy (traditionally understood) is rare.

Homosexual developmental pathways for females

Three of the most common pathways for females in the U.S. are as follows. The first is a gender identity root. Similar to the pathway described for males, the female may adopt a gender identity different than her biological sex. This could occur due early sexual abuse by a man such that she perceives femaleness as being weaker, that which allowed her to be hurt. Another reason could be that the mother had a second child, was experiencing postpartum depression, was not able to offer her daughter the 3 A's, and this was supplemented by the male father figure. 

The second pathway is called LUG - lesbian until graduation. Lesbianism is perceived as cool and is experimented with until college is over. This may however morph into true lesbianism. Finally the third pathway is LLL - lesbian later in life. This is a 40+ year old woman who was heterosexual, may have been married, but experiences trauma through a divorce. During that time a female friend is there to provide emotional support and the women begins to fall in love emotionally with her.

 

Can Sexual Orientation Change?

This question is very controversial because, popularly, most people think that sexual orientation is immutable, unchangeable. But 3 lines of evidence that change is possible.

First, we have an ancient report of change as seen in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11. No matter your view on the Bible this is at least an old account of change.

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God

Second, we have the testimony of thousands of individuals who say they were once gay and no longer are today (e.g. http://voices-of-change.org/). It is not popular for such a person to confess this. It is embarrassing and that increases our confidence that the person is being honest.

Third, secular research affirms change in sexual attractions; they say that sexual attraction is fluid. Camille Paglia, a lesbian researcher say in her book Vamps and Tramps, "Sexuality is highly fluid, and reversals are theoretically possible." A 1997 study of men in the Netherlands found 51% with SSA said that their SSA disappeared at a later stage in life [Theo Sandfort, “Sampling Male Homosexuality,” in Researching Sexual Behavior, 1997.] A study of over 20,000 high school students found that 68% of 15 year-olds with SSA had opposite-sex attractions by the age of 21 and the changes occurred spontaneously, without any therapy or counseling.[“Prevalence and Stability of Sexual Orientation Components During Adolescence and Young Adulthood” Archives of Sexual Behavior, 2007.] Lesbian activity and APA researcher Dr. Lisa Diamond wrote an entire book simply titled Sexual Fluidity that document cases of sexual attraction changes. More and more studies could be cited as well to show that change is possible.

As a disclaimer, this does not mean change is easy or that it happens all the time. It is difficult and rare. But it is clearly not the case that change is impossible.

Next Time

And so that concludes our discussion of what science says about homosexuality. Next time we will take a more application-based look at How to Speak the Truth with Compassion.

Our next (and final) meeting will be next Monday, November 13th, 2017 - 6:30 to 8pm in rooms 11-12 of the education building of Mt. Zion UMC. Hope to see you there!

References

I contacted Alan Shlemon, the author of the study material that we're using, to ask for additional sources related to the description of the developmental pathways. Alan offered a slim, partial list of sources to start with, ordered chronologically.

As a note though, Alan identified that it is challenging to cite all the research done to confirm the developmental pathway. He compares it to the Theory of Gravity. There are hundreds of reports that hypothesize and confirm the theory. Further research has then moved on to look at more nuanced subtopics. So again, this is a partial list.

Oh, and Alan also recommended checking out www.NARTH.com as a good place that has synthesized a lot of this content and put it in fairly digestible form. And a website that Alan's friend is developing to organize all the research articles on the topic of the APA's 1973 decision to remove homosexuality from the DSM as a mental disorder.

• Freud, A. (1949). Some clinical remarks concerning the treatment of cases of male homosexuality. Summary Presentation at the International Psychoanalytic Conference, Zurich, 1949. International Journal of Psycho-Analysis 30:195.
• Freud, A. (1951). Homosexuality. Bulletin of the American Psychoanalytic Association 7:117-118.
• Freud, A. (1954). Problems of technique in adult analysis. In: The Writings of Anna Freud, Volume 4, New York: International Universities Press, 1968, pp. 377 -406.
• Greenson, R.R. (1968). Dis-identifying from mother: Its special importance for the boy. In: Explorations in Psychoanalysi s. New York: International Universities Press, 1978, pp. 305-312.
• “Perversions: General considerations regarding their genetic and dynamic background,” in: Emotional Growth: Psychoanalytic Studies of the Gifted and Great Variety of Other Individuals, Volume 1. New York: International Universities Press, 1971, pp. 300 -314.
• Mahler, M. (1975). Discussion of “Healthy Parental Influences on the Earliest Development of Masculinity in Baby Boys” by R.J. Stoller. Margaret S. Mahler Symposium. Philadelphia: Psychoanalytic Forum 5:244-247.
• Socarides, C.W. (1978). Homosexuality. New York: Jason Aronson.
• Psychogenesis: The early development of gender identity, Moberly, E., London: Routledge & Kegan Paul Limited, 1983.
• Socarides, C.W. (1988). The Preoedipal Origin and Psychoanalytic Therapy of Sexual Perversions. Madison, CT: International Universities Press. “Exotic Becomes Erotic,” Daryl J. Bem, in Archives of Sexual Behavior, Vol. 29, No.6, 2000.
• “Childhood Family Correlates of Heterosexual and Homosexual Marriages: A National Cohort Study of Two Million Danes,” Frisch & Hviid, in Archives of Sexual Behavior, Vol. 35, 2006.
• Gerard.J.M van den Aardweg (2011) On the Psychogenesis of Homosexuality, The Linacre Quarterly, 78:3, 330-354
• Beard, K. W., O’Keefe, S. L., Swindell, S., Stroebel, S. S., Griffee, K., Young, D. H., & Linz, T. D. (2013). Brother-brother incest: Data from an anonymous computerized survey. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 20, 217-253
• “Does Maltreatment in Childhood Affect Sexual Orientation in Adulthood?,” Roberts, Glymour, & Koenen, Archives of Sexual Behavior, Vol. 42, 2013.
• O’Keefe, S. L., Beard, K. W., Swindell, S., Stroebel, S. S., Griffee, K., & Young, D. H. (2014). Sister-brother incest: Data from anonymous computer assisted self interviews. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 21, 1-38.